Meaningless Post-Christmas Friendly

Game 9, January 5, 2008

YC&AC Over 35s 2 v YC&AC Seconds 5

 

YC&AC Seconds, captained by fitness fanatic Neil Lawrence, asked us to play this game under the pretext of wanting a post-Christmas warm up before the resumption of their TML matches. How we made them sweat! 

If it hadn’t been for those young whippersnippers Simon Carden and Alex Goldie (two great headed goals from corners) and a sumptuous eighteen-yard curler from Matt Tuck, they’d have been lucky to escape this match with a draw.

And we weren’t even trying!

See you in the Hendy Cup, boys. 

By Alex Hendy

Goals: Oliver Burton-Towell, Zak Neiderhauser (OG) (or does someone want to claim that?) UPDATE: OBT has claimed it. Good finish, OBT!

Squad: Most of the usual plus the outstanding Oliver Burton-Towell. Cheers, Ollie.

Refs: Average

Card Count: None

Attendance: Five or six

 

Silver Machine Crashes in Controversial Final

Nishiumi Cup, December 23, 2007

Winners: Yokohama Seniors; Runners-up: YC&AC Over 35s

On any normal day the YC&AC grounds would have been cordoned off and warning signs erected in several languages, an overnight downpour having left the pitch looking like Morecombe Bay Sands at low tide. 

But this was no normal day. For on December 23 would be held the prestigious Nishiumi Cup, the annual old blokes’ football-a-thon drawing teams from across the prefecture. YC&AC groundstaff were out from dawn literally shovelling water from the surface to ensure the tournament went ahead.

Dramatically, despite the valiant spadework of Shingo et al., the referees were forced to delay the kickoff by an hour after one of them sank up to his neck near the centre circle. Poor Doji Shimpan had to be dragged out of the mud by a (bless it) loose-bottomed old pony by the name of Panto. More frantic shovelling ensued, and after one final inspection, the men in black nervously declared the pitch fit to play.

Qualifying

 

The Nishiuma Cup under wraps. In his capacity as head of the Yokohama Football Association (YFA), the late Nishiuma-san had been a key player in Japan’s bid to host the 2002 World Cup and instrumental in bringing the final to Yokohama. 

As every schoolboy knows, the Nishiumi Cup is played for by six teams in a two-group format, the winner of each group progressing to the final. In hindsight we were drawn in the easier of the two groups, alongside J-Club and a Korean team, Tingu. The other group comprised F.C. Goal (featuring YC&AC defector Sada Hosogai), Midorigaoka (featuring former Japan national team centre-forward Matsuura-san), and Yokohama Seniors (featuring a bunch of right dirty b******s).

First up for YC&AC then was J-Club, the “J” of which name possibly stands for “Jugular,” which is what we went for from the kick off. The Fives seemed to revel in the conditions, implausibly in the circumstances playing what was probably our best football of the season. Guest star David Noon, a PE instructor at Yokohama International School, was aggressively outstanding up front, holding the ball up expertly and showing commitment in the tackle beyond the call of duty. In no time at all—thirty minutes, to be precise—we had won the game 5-0.

Two hours later we were pulling on the boots again and splashing out for our second qualifier, against Tingu. “Tingu,” we were told, is Korean for “friend,” and that is a fact you are likely now never to forget, so if you’ve got this far down the report, it’s not been for nothing. Tingu duly did what friends are for and allowed us a safe three-goal passage to the final.

Eight goals to the good already, and the Silver Machine was firing on all cylinders. Only Yokohama Seniors, those recently crowned champions of the Kanagawa Senior League First Division, now stood between the Over 35s and our first victory in this competition for, oo, three or four years.

The Final

This match, in all honesty, was a bit of a shambles, marred by much fouling and even fouler refereeing. I’d spell out specific incidents, but this is already getting long, and there’s a chance some video could become available shortly. Suffice to say here that there was a five- or ten-minute period near the end of the first half that was as nasty a passage of senior football as you are ever likely to see.

 

Appalled by the apparent bias of the ref, some of our players had started to seek justice themselves, and for the referee, who told me afterwards that he felt he could not go round flashing yellow cards to all and sundry (he flashed just the one, to Petr Vyvial), half-time could not come soon enough. Unfortunately it came after Yokohama Seniors had struck the game’s first goal.

 

The Fives stomped off the pitch at half-time visibly enraged by what had just unfolded.

Second half, and the atmosphere remained tense, the football fraught. Frustratingly we couldn’t get our game together at all, while the foul count seemed to increase exponentially as the ref had apparently changed his stance in this half, opting to give free kicks whenever anyone appealed, which was often. No appeal was necessary for their penalty, however, which was indisputable (2-0).

We tried our best to rally, but after a long day time was suddenly short. When their keeper pulled off one fantastic diving save near the end, we knew the game was up.

A party was held in the patio bar afterwards, where friendly relations were restored over beer and cheesy morsels. There was no disgrace losing to Yokohama Seniors, a good footballing team with an edge that made them very difficult opposition. No, the disgrace was that we weren’t 2-0 up in the first 10 minutes from what looked nailed-on penalties of our own. Give us Pierluigi Collina next season and we’ll be sure to reap our revenge!

Top, Yokohama Football Association Director Akiyama-san delivers her speech, in which she reminded us that Nishiumi-san had conceived this Cup as a way to bring older players and teams in the Kanagawa area together in the spirit of friendly (!) competition; bottom, the Yokohama Seniors captain and keeper receives the Nishiumi Cup from Komatsubara-san, a classmate of Nishiumi-san at Midorigaoka school

By Alex Hendy

YC&AC: Russell Brown, Trevor Burton-Towell, Tom Chambers, Buddy Ferrie, Alex Hendy, Steve McKie, Mika Niemi, Ed Nishiie, David Noon, Alan Plater,  Dennis Stanworth, Stuart (?), Petr Vyvial

Goals: David Noon (2?), Alex Hendy, Who else? Please help. 

Man of the Tournament: David Noon

Referees: OK I think, until the final

Card Count: Petr Vyvial (yellow)

Attendance: Dozens