Are We Bolton in Disguise?

Game 8, December 15, 2007  

YC&AC Over 35s 8 v Johnson & Johnson 1 

According to the YC&AC official homepage this match finished 7-0. Obviously our Sports Administrator left the ground early to beat the traffic. In doing so he missed a mini resurgence from the opposition, a ten-minute spell of intense pressure following their goal (7-1) which proved that football is all in the mind, if you know what I mean. 

Apart from that, there’s not too much to say about this match. The scoreline I think fairly reflects our overall superiority—at set pieces. If memory serves, all eight of our goals came from set plays, seven of them I think from Russell Brown corners. 

Who got them? Russell himself (did he connect with one of his own inswingers?), Yaw (!)… 

Please claim your goal by posting a comment. It’s important for the Golden Slipper. It’s important I tell you! 

By Alex Hendy 

YC&AC: Now I know why Graeme always took a squad photo… According to Alan’s e-mail on the eve of this match we were short. I remember Nigel holding a beer 15 minutes before kick-off and offering to pop home to get his kit. By kick-off we just had enough. Steve McKie was there. Jan Broere picked a good match to come back. Trevor made his first full appearance as our designated keeper. Alan, Dennis, Sada, me… It all seems so long ago… It was! 

Goals: Russell Brown, Yaw (what’s your surname, Yaw?) 

UPDATE: Goals since claimed by Marcos Perreira, Dennis Stanworth…

Man of the match: Russell Brown. A Fantasy League manager’s dream of a performance from midfield. 

Referees: Let the game flow 

Card count: None 

Attendance: Twenty? It will have been a long journey back to Aomori for the away supporters.

Ski Saturday: Piste and Pistaking

Game 7, December 8, 2007

YC&AC Over 35s 2 v Suiran High School Old Boys 0

Hampered by private-life threatening injuries picked up in the busy festive period, your keeper of the records here has seen this one late. Somehow though he’s managed to get his fingertips to it and … [The report trickles over the line.]

[Play theme tune.]

Paul Blamire turned up for this match, his last ever for the Over 35s, wearing an enormous pair of ski gloves. Either our Australia-bound keeper had lost the flight of his Gary Sprakes when packing or he’d cashed in his insurance policy and wanted the extra protection. Whatever the case, confidence positively surged through the squad before kick-off as Paul proudly twirled his great black mittens in front of us.

Ironically as things transpired, Paul would need no excuse for poor handling in this game. The Lancastrian was a man inspired as he kept a dangerous Suiran High School Old Boys (SOBs) at bay, pulling off two spectacular saves and one great rushing block to help secure that rarest of rare things for the Fives, a second consecutive clean sheet.

Our goals-against column still looks horrendous of course, but needless to say not all of the goals we’ve shipped this season can be blamired on Paul. In fact, our keeper had been in excellent form prior to his untimely departure.

You wouldn’t think that was the case, mind you, to overhear some of the conversations that took place on the wall this season…

It is a truism that when a goalkeeper commits an error, the effects are often immediate and decisive. Unfortunately for Paul, when he commits an error the effects seem often to have been immediate, decisive and comical. Not having witnessed any such howlers myself [bites lip], I’m reluctant to commit to the record here. Besides, you’ve already heard the ones about the headed own goal, the windy day at the Shed End…

Haven’t you?

Iker Casillas has his hands insured for 7.5 million euros. Paul Blamire simply sticks on a pair of ski gloves.

The Power and the Glory

This was another strong performance from the Silver Machine, now back to its grinding best and clearly buoyed by a terrific 1-0 victory last time out. Allied with no small amount of technical ability, our sheer physical presence was again too much for the opposition here.

One of those who gets stuck in more than most is Tom Chambers, who has been in outstanding form for the Over 35s this season and seems to get a mention here every week. We had a big squad for this game and most of the non-defenders only played alternate quarters, so Tom was perhaps not able to impose himself on the game as he usually does. Nevertheless, watching him from the sidelines I was reminded at one point of that splendid character from the Roy of the Rovers comic, Kevin (Mighty) Mouse. I caught the moment on camera.

Tom Chambers
[Ed. Sourced from Wikipedia with the same understanding ref. fair use.]

Mighty Mouse

Another player to catch the eye in this match was Peter Yang, who had a great game at rightback, a position which he has quietly made his own. Peter was strong in the tackle, brought the ball out well, and his distribution was first rate.

The left flank, by contrast, was rather less pleasing on the eye. In particular, there was a cartoon-like ten minutes in the second quarter when despite all the hacking and flashing the ball didn’t leave a three-square-meter patch of grass either side of the centre line. What the hell was going on there, guys?

Our goals came in the first and third quarters, when the combination of myself and Mika Niemi up front, with the attack-minded Marcos Perreira and Patrick Newell just behind, proved far too sharp for the SOBs’ buttery rearguard. Patrick struck the first, finishing with slide-rule precision after being set up by the lively Mika. The second was eerily similar, this time Patrick teeing up Mika to fire low past the SOBs keeper, again in front of the Swimming Pool End. (Did we play three of the four quarters toward the SPE? I think we did.)

In front of Paul, the team defended stoutly, determined that our two-time Club President would finish his long and illustrious career on the hill with a clean sheet. Our hearts were in our mouths near the end when the referee awarded the SOBs a free kick on the edge of the box, but there would be no last-minute PB howler. The wall did its job.

As of course it alway does.

Sitting there after the match, a suggestion was made that the Shed End be renamed the Paul Blamire Shed End, in honour of the departing keeper. That was a kind thought, team. Consider it done.

[Replay theme tune.]

By Alex Hendy

YC&AC (Picture on the Squad page): Paul Blamire, Russell Brown, Trevor Burton-Towell, Tom Chambers, Buddy Ferrie, Alex Hendy, Sadao Hosogai (Captain), Ryuji Matsumoto, Steve McKie, Patrick Newell, Mika Niemi, Ed Nishiie, Marcos Perreira, Alan Plater (Supreme Administrator), Thorstein Strand, Yaw, Peter Yang,

Goals: Patrick Newell, Mika Niemi

Man of the match: Paul Blamire. On fine form all season, Paul was at his very best in this game, making three top-class saves and sweeping up with authority.

Referees: OK

Card count: None

Attendance: Not that many

A Murderous Desire for Love

Game 6, December 1

YC&AC Over 35s 1 v Four Roses 0

Before you go any further, just pause for a moment to savour that scoreline.

1-0. That’s beautiful, that is.

OK, the more prosaic among you may scoff that we could and should have won this 3-0 (if it hadn’t been for our No. 17…), but I ask you, would 3-0 have smelled as sweet? No. A win by any other name would only have cheapened the result, tastelessly gilding the lily of our strenuously preserved clean sheet.

Make no mistake, this scoreline was, and is, all about the nil. It’s all about the zero. The love.

The Boys with the Thorns in Their Sides

Four Roses will have come into this game fancying their chances, cheered by news of our extraordinary final-quarter collapse last week and sight of a goals against column that read 22 from 5. But how we made them suffer!

In football, the first line of defense is attack, a principle which YC&AC Captain Sadao Hosogai applied literally in the first quarter by playing Gary McGregor up front. Gary, a natural centreback if ever there was one, was making his final appearance not just for the Over 35s (for whom he was a near ever-present for four full seasons) but also, he grimly suspects, of his career. Twenty minutes up front, then, was Gary’s special treat. The team cheered the Captain’s decision, and from the kick off drove forward hungrily.

A Four Roses’ defender climbs above Gary McGregor

The Roses appeared puzzled, stunned even by the vigour of our game, and after 10 minutes we made the pressure count. Mark Bailey, making a comet-rare appearance for the Over 35s, swivelled on a half-chance and fired mercilessly past their replacement keeper.

The starting goalie for the Roses had been forced off very early when Gary, bravely going in where it hurts, kneed the man right in the head. Unfortunately the keeper would return to the fray in the second quarter with his bearings apparently unaffected, pulling off one outrageous save, of which more later.

How Can They Look into Our Eyes…

Four Roses might have taken a nip of own-brand bourbon in the interval because from the second quarter they looked a much stronger side. Their number 33 came on, and despite heavily strapped legs and a gait like a hamstrung Thorstein Strand, he was top, top quality in the centre of the park. The Roses suddenly had a more physical and niggly edge, too. Gary must have wished he was still playing up front.

They say that every rose has its thorn, and on the evidence of this bouquet, they’d be right. While not quite so nostril-curlingly unpleasant as those Cathay Pacific boys earlier in the season, the Roses were nevertheless pretty damn spiky. Needless to say, the referees saw nothing wrong with the way they dished it out, leaving us with little choice but to exact retribution ourselves.

Mentioning no names, but Petr Vyvial was a bit tasty in the middle of the park…

To calm things down what we needed was another goal, and as the second quarter drew to a close, it looked like we might get one. A great YC&AC attack down the left in front of the Swimming Pool End saw the ball eventually squirt out of Tom Chambers’ feet and fizz across the edge of the six yard box onto the toes of yours truly, perfectly positioned with just the keeper to beat. I held my nerve (see snooker report, Dec. issue) and carefully picked my spot. No! How did he get a leg to that!

Boz groaned and swore in admonishment, and the bench wailed. So I couldn’t be too hard on myself. No need. I reflected that as a striker it’s possible to have too much time. I’d be more concerned if I wasn’t taking up the positions to get these chances etc etc [ad lib to fade].

YC&AC’s No. 17 would get another opportunity to relieve some of the pressure on the team in the third quarter, when from a corner I anticipated a ricochet in the box, knocked the ball a fraction into space for the shot and then blasted over. Later, Mika Niemie would taste similar frustration, their keeper again doing superbly to triumph in the one on one.

Just the keeper to beat…

And Still They Don’t Believe Us?

These chances were the best we had. Between them we defended doggedly to preserve our lead, and the work rate of some of our players in this match was just outstanding. Special mention in this respect must go to Tom Chambers again. The sight of him chugging up and down the pitch all game warmed the heart, it really did. Boz too looked really up for this one. Dennis Stanworth, that long-time partner of Gary in the heart of defense, won every header.

And as the clock ticked down you could feel the focus of the players intensifying, so determined were we to keep those Roses at bay. With five minutes to go, Gary issued a final battle cry: “I’ve not been playing for 33 years to lose my last game!”

Stirring words. To Gary, a draw would have been a defeat in this game. No one dared make a mistake after that, and no one did. The ref finally got a decision right and blew the final whistle.

The Roses had scratched and sniffed on the edge of our box for long periods of the game, but the only real save that Paul Blamire had to make (and it was a good one) was a wickedly dipping loopy thing from a deflected corner. From front to back, our defense was simply magnificent.

And After All This Time…

Yaw turned up. In his kit. Two hours late. For the photo. And the traditional post-match session on the wall.

There, reminiscing, Gary revealed that he’d woken that morning and thought back to the first match he played as a boy. This conversation, I’ll freely admit, made me feel a bit weepy, even though I’m sure that Gary will pull on the boots again. However, if this was indeed Gary’s last proper game for his last proper team, all who took part in it can be proud of their efforts in ensuring that the man went out in style. None more so than Gary himself.

I asked Captain Hosogai for his thoughts.

Gary was one of the most popular players in our squad, on and off the pitch. On the pitch, as we all know, he was always reliable and stable defender with Scottish type hard tackles. Off the pitch, his sense of humor attracted many people.

On his departure, it seems that he tentatively has to retire from the active football life as he would’t find decent team like us in Scotland. However, his position will be carefully reserved by Dennis, and Gary is always welcome to join us again.

We all should raise a dram of whisky for thanking his services to the team and safe journey back home.

He’ll be missed on the pitch. He’ll be missed on the wall. Gary McGregor.

By Alex Hendy

YC&AC (Picture on the Squad page): Mark Bailey, Paul Blamire, Cliff Broom, Russell Brown, Tom Chambers, Gary McGregor, Alex Hendy, Sadao Hosogai (Captain), Stephane Laura Martin, Ryuji Matsumoto, Mika Niemie, Ed Nishiie, Marcos Perreira, Anders Sjostedt, Dennis Stanworth, Thorstein Strand, Petr Vyvial, Yaw

Goals: Mark Bailey

Man of the match: Gary McGregor. Suffered nosebleeds early doors in an unfamiliar striking role. Reverted to his customary position in central defense from the second quarter, whereafter he was outstanding.

Referees: Diabolical

Card count: None

Attendance: 15 plus, including Nigel and Willy again. Cheers, guys.

——————-

ANNOUNCEMENT

It doesn’t rain but it pours… Paul Blamire has had enough, too. Here’s a message from Safe Hands.

——————-

Sayonara in the Bar, Friday 7th

Gary’s gone, now Paul’s leaving too. Please come along to the YCAC Bar on Friday from 8:30pm to send him off to a new home in Australia.

Then we’ll go out on Saturday and keep a clean sheet despite ourselves!

Look forward to seeing you there.

Paul

——————-