Five-Seven Fiasco

Game 5, November 24

YC&AC 5 v Korean Connection 7

This was ridiculous. 3-1 up, 4-2 up, 5-3 up… Then somehow, final quarter, 5-7 down. 5-7! That’s not a football score, it’s the syllable count for the first two lines of a haiku poem. The perfect excuse to keep this short!

The goals:

———-

Who’s that scoring with
A header? Far stick hell bells
It’s Buddy Ferrie!

———-

Fredrik Ljungberg?
Make me laugh. Anders Sjostedt
He’s world class! Two-one.

———-

Dodgy defending
Fancy feet fool the keeper
Marcos Perreira

———-

Alex Hendy times
His run, kills the square ball, jinks
Into the box, shoots

———-

Who got the other?
Let me know. Leave a comment
Before you go. Ta.

UPDATE: Buddy Ferrie got the other.
———-

By Alex Hendy

YC&AC: Paul Blamire, Cliff Broom, Russell Brown, Tom Chambers, Buddy Ferrie, Gary McGregor, Alex Hendy, Sadao Hosogai (Captain), Stephane Laura Martin, Mika, Patrick Newell, Marcos Perreira, Alan Plater (Supreme Administrator), Anders Sjostedt, Dennis Stanworth, Thorstein Strand, Yaw

Goals: Buddy Ferrie, Anders Sjostedt, Marcos Perreira, Alex Hendy, A.N. Other

Man of the match: You must be joking

Referees: Irrelevant

Card count: None that I recall

Attendance: 9?

Reunited Torn Apart

Game 4, November 18, 2007

YC&AC Over 35s 5 v FC Reunited 1

The more musically sophisticated among you may be familiar with that timeless Hawkwind hit from the early seventies, “Silver Machine.” Sung by a young Lemmy, later of Motorhead, the space rock classic is all about… a silver racing bicycle.

I’ve adopted the song as our anthem for the season.

The Over 35s may now be down to just the one, multi-purpose gear and are perhaps less enthusiastically straddled than once we were, but we are indisputably sort of silver. And you’ve got to admit, there is something exquisitely machine-like about the way we play our football sometimes.

It’s an Electric Line

Journeying in to Yokohama from their base in Azabu, Tokyo, our opposition would have felt that this was not a good time to be playing the Over 35s. They would have judged that, having suffered two consecutive heavy defeats, YC&AC pride would be dangerously hurt.

And they would have judged right. We bounced out on to the pitch for this match with one thing on our minds: victory. At any cost.

Pity then that, first quarter, it looked like we might have another tricky battle on our hands. A couple of the Azabudlians quickly caught the eye with their speed and technique, and the team as a whole appeared fit and organised, if a little on the short side.

It was our own Paul Blamire who had been the busier of the two keepers when, quarter of an hour in, we won a corner on the right in front of the Shed End. Russell Brown stepped up and effortlessly picked out the uppermost reaches of Stephane Laura Martin, who made no mistake with his header from three yards.

The goal had a visibly demoralising effect on the Azabudlians.

In the second quarter we sustained the pressure, the machine-like qualities of the team now coming to the fore. Russell Brown was up and down the right-hand side like a piston. Tom Chambers and Patrick Newell were turbines in midfield. Gordon Deas hammered their keeper… No change, but you could sense we were wearing them down.

To Your Zodiac Sign

Third quarter and on we pressed, and it was no surprise when we struck again, although the Azabudlians will have been disappointed by the manner in which they conceded. Not for the first time in YC&AC pitch history, the opposition goalie mistook the edge of his penalty area for rugby’s 22-yard line. The refs up here are always quick to spot that foul, and this one, too, cheerfully blew for the handball. (In the view of this match reporter, a drop-ball would be a fairer punishment for away keepers making this mistake. When the artificial pitch goes in, of course, we could paint those rugby lines a different colour, which would help. I suggest green.)

Anyway, here’s what Tom did with the freekick:

It’s not easy to get it up and down from this range.

The defenders on the left side of the wall sense the ball might be about to travel very hard and fast in their direction…

Tom duly floats one over the top…

And as the ball slides down the back of the net…

The crowd behind the goal goes wild!

Anders Sjostedt soon made it three with a sweet left-footed finish from ten yards.

Final quarter now, and the opposition were rewarded for refusing to believe what was happening to them, perseverance in the penalty box enabling them to scuff one past PB. Not long before, our keeper had palmed away a curler destined for the bottom right-hand corner. And he’d watched in amazement Cliff Broom, sweeping up in the box, slice with murderous ferocity a clearance that flew very narrowly past our right-hand post and straight down the chimney of the refinery behind the ground.

Paul might also have been facing a penalty had the referee not given a free kick our way after Gary McGregor kicked one of their men right up into the air. The ref signalled that the striker had gone in with studs raised, an opinion it is fair to assume the stricken player disagreed with. You could almost read his whimpering thoughts as he lay there, face down on the turf: “Oh, where the sympathetic and congratulatory support of my teammates as they gather for the PK!”

With the player still prone and Gary squeezing the dent out of his boot, we sought to launch a counterattack from the free kick. This was poor sportsmanship from the Over 35s. Worth a try! But poor sportsmanship. The ref rightly brought play back and checked to see that the Azabudlian was still alive.

It flies Out of a Dream

Reunited were by this stage quickly unravelling, and it wasn’t long before we extended our three-goal lead. Marcos Perreira took his tally for the season to four with a cunningly disguised right-footed finish after crafting a space for himself on the edge of the box.

And as the opposition disintegrated into whinging disarray, we struck a fifth—and it’s another contender for goal of the season, folks (nominated by Alan Plater, that connoisseur of the clinical finish).

It goes like this: We win a corner out on the left at the Swimming Pool End. Maths teacher Russell Brown again gets his geometry spot on, swinging over a nanometer-perfect cross just over the head of Alan Plater and directly on to the extended big toe of fellow mathematician Dennis Stanworth, ghosting in at the far stick on his left knee. So often this type of deep whipped delivery bombs harmlessly out of play, but Dennis used all his experience to anticipate the chance, and he finished with aplomb. Great goal. And a rare one, too, to judge by Dennis’s delight.

“He ran back wearing a smile like a Grand National winner. And I’m talking about the horse!”–Gary McGregor

Any number of players put in big performances here. Paul Blamire was on top of his game in goal. Russell Brown and Marcos Perreira were influential. Patrick Newell, who claims he was playing for the first time in eight years, was hungry in the tackle and accurate in the pass. Tom Chambers’ grit in midfield got right in the eye of Reunited and was central to our success…

Yet, this was one of those games when individuals stood out less than the team. This was a victory for the Over 35s. Together, we were magnificent. We stuck at it, and we wore them down.

The Silver Machine is back on the road. Roll on, Saturday!

By Alex Hendy

YC&AC: Paul Blamire, Cliff Broom, Russell Brown, Tom Chambers, Gordon Deas, Martin Hornung, Gary McGregor, Alex Hendy, Stephane Laura Martin, Mika, Patrick Newell, Marcos Perreira, Alan Plater (Supreme Administrator), Anders Sjostedt, Dennis Stanworth, Thorstein Strand, Peter Yang

Goals: Stephane Laura Martin, Tom Chambers, Anders Sjostedt, Marcos Perreira, Dennis Stanworth

Man of the match: The team

Referees: The younger of the three rotating refs was the best we’ve seen this season. Exercised a semblance of authority.

Card count: YC&AC 1 (yellow, Tom Chambers) v FC Reunited 0

Attendance: Fifteen or so. The most vocal support we’ve enjoyed to date. Thanks, fans.

Destroyed but Not Defeated

Game 3, November 4, 2007

YC&AC Over 35s 3 v ACA 7

Another 9:00 o’clock kick-off for the Over 35s and another difficult fixture against much younger opposition.

Relative youth on its own need not be a decisive factor in football of course, but when it is combined with superior individual ability and a decent team shape, it can be deadly. So it proved here.

YC&AC literally didn’t get a kick in the first five minutes as ACA, which stands for Annoying Clowns (I think) Anonymous, stroked the ball across their back line from left to right and right to left and back again until one of them eventually did the inevitable and spooned the ball out of play.

For a team so full of obviously talented players, those ACA boys sure played a funny game. Ultra-cagey at the back, up front they’d cross an invisible line about thirty yards out and then suddenly shoot, which is the football equivalent of looking after a bottle of wine for a lifetime then shaking it vigorously before pulling the cork. Granted the Clowns scored at least five fantastic goals from 20 yards plus, but many more shots soared harmlessly—albeit sometimes narrowly—high and wide.

You wouldn’t catch the Over 35s wasting possession like that.

Bird’s-nest-worrier-in-chief was ACA’s No. 4, whose shoot-on-first-touch philosophy must, one can only hope, make him particularly unpopular with his teammates. He certainly wasn’t popular with YC&AC’s Kim Buoy when he left his foot in too long after one challenge near the corner flag. In retaliation Kim did just enough to avoid the yellow card while scaring the living daylights out of the Clown. Don’t mess with the Buoy!

First quarter, then, and ACA painstakingly raced into a 3-0 lead before, critically, YC&AC pulled one back. Young Simon Carden scored it, his shot from the right slipping through the fingers of the keeper at his near post, a la Dalglish v Clemence in 1977. No doubt that’s one that Gary McGregor—who slotted seamlessly back into the heart of the YC&AC defence for this game—remembers fondly. As a little welcome back present, Gary, here’s the clip. (Turn your speakers down, fellas!)

Incidentally, in claiming that goal Simon Carden became the youngest player ever to score for the YC&AC vets, edging out one Hugh Oswald Spencer-Tuckington, who in 1929 scored for the Over-35s aged 35 years and 1 hour. Well done, Simon.

ACA went on to extend their lead to 4-1 in the second quarter and then to 6-1 early in the third, hitting a couple of real pearlers on the way. Lesser teams than ours would fall apart completely at 6-1, but YC&AC stuck with it, showing pride in the shirt as we chased everything worth chasing. So it was that, somehow, by the end of the third quarter we had worked our way right back into it. Oh yes.

Our second goal came from an outrageous piece of skill from YC&AC’s No. 17, me. Alan Plater, whose ball retention in this game was something of a feature, fizzed over a cross from the right in the approximate direction of my ass, 12 yards out to the right. Instinctively—I practice these in training—I jumped and simultaneously did something flicky with the outside of my right boot, steering the ball in an arc over the audibly despairing dive of the ACA keeper and—look at that—just under the crossbar. You can watch an uncannily similar version of the goal here, at 1 minute 48 seconds, a goal which ironically is sandwiched between a certain famous Maradonna goal and (such is life, Gary) that Gascoigne beauty against Scotland.

Our third was arguably even better. Alan Plater and Petr Vyvial teamed up in pursuit of a through ball from central midfield. As the ACA keeper rushed out to collect it he must have thought he was seeing double as our two bullish strikers bore down on him at full gallop. Sure enough the ball went right through the keeper, closely followed by Alan, who trampled the red-ragged stopper into the turf. As Petr mopped up, calmly rolling the ball into the unguarded net, he seemed to me to allow himself a small smile (to be confirmed).

Final quarter was a scruffy affair that annoyingly featured a seventh goal for our visitors, a scrambled effort that hurt more than all their 18-yard volleys and 25-yard curlers put together. There would be no miracle comeback.

Never mind. Once again this was a big effort from a small squad of Over-35s. Special mention must go to an injured Trevor Burton-Towell for keeping goal on what would prove to be a busy day. Thanks also to Rob, Steve and Carl from the Seconds for helping us to keep going in the final quarter.

I am presently seeking confirmation from Justin of the age/profile of the ACA team, but I can’t believe any of them was over 35. Unless I am very much mistaken, therefore, we remain unbeaten.

UPDATE: News just in from Justin: ACA are ex-Armani, apparently, and “most of them were over 35″. That’s hard to take…

YC&AC: Trevor Burton-Towell, Cliff Broom, Kim Buoy, Simon Carden, Gary McGregor, Alex Hendy, Stephane Laura Martin, Ryuji Matsumoto, Marcos Perreira, Alan Plater (Supreme Administrator), Petr Vyvial, Peter Yang

Goals: YC&AC: Simon Carden, Alex Hendy, Petr Vyvial

Man of the match: Ryuji Matsumoto. His fighting spirit and never-say-die attitude inspired all around him.

Referees: Better than last week

Card count: YC&AC 1 (yellow, Simon Carden) v ACA 0

Attendance: Many several and a dog (chained). (Cheers, Alan’s dog.)

By Alex Hendy

Unexpected Turbulence

Game 2, October 28, 2007

YC&AC Over 35s 1 v Cathay Pacific 4

Typhoon No. 20 passed through Yokohama on Saturday dumping enough water on the YC&AC pitch to drown a sheep. Our lunchtime fixture against a touring Cathay Pacific side was duly postponed, until—whoopee!—9:00 o’ clock the following morning.

Incredibly given the weather the day before, we trotted out on Sunday onto what was a pretty damn fine playing surface. The sky was a cloudless baby blue; the air, warm and fresh. And lo! From betwixt the houses a snow-coated Mt. Fuji watched over us. “Now is joyful time for soccer,” the mountain seemed to enjoin us. “Let’s excite fine play. Together!”

Some people hadn’t read the script…

Who’s the Gentleman in the Black?

The game got off to a spiky start, Paul Blamire reacting furiously to a dive from a CX forward after our keeper had cleanly gathered the game’s first through ball.

Hugely annoyingly, just moments later Paul found himself kicking the ball out of the back of his net, CX’s No. 7—a player whose style it was hard to appreciate—curling a 20-yarder over his outstretched fingertips.

Things then went from bad to nurse when young Simon Carden, bravely leaping for a long ball over the top, took an Airbus 380-sized clattering from the out-charging CX keeper. While this may not have been a deliberate foul, or even a foul at all according to our referee, it was nevertheless a nasty moment. The challenge left Carden out cold, and it’s to the boy’s huge credit that after an enforced rest he came back on to the pitch for the last two quarters—and played a cracking game, too.

Various little incidents then followed that collectively would wind up some of our players in a way that we are not accustomed to being wound. The Over 35s love the physical game, but we don’t go about kicking feet, wrestling and obstructing, or squaring up and shouting abuse to completely innocent opponents. Not constantly, anyway. CX can count themselves very fortunate that our referee for this game was not the strictest. [Ed. Diplomatically put if I say so myself.]

Never Mind

First quarter we battled hard and at the end of it struck back, the excellent Marcos Perreira extending his goalscoring streak with another cool finish. So despite everything, the mood was positive at the first break; we’d held our own and played some decent stuff.

Alas, our hopes soon took a nosedive. At the start of the second quarter CX struck three times in the space of as many minutes, or so it seemed. Poor tracking back from left midfield [raises hand] and a system failure of the offside trap let us down. The linesman, it should be stressed, was in no way accountable for any of these horrible identikit goals. In no way accountable at all.

And well, that was about that. Thereafter CX did nothing that remotely threatened the YC&AC goal. They strolled about in that unusual way they had, apparently content to let us come onto them before somehow winning it back and then losing it again.

YC&AC Captain Sadao Hosogai was outstanding at the back, marshalling the line, barking over his shoulder at the flagging midfield, and bringing the ball out superbly. Even at the end of the last quarter the ageless Hosogai was marauding forward…

Such was our determination and desire that the last two quarters were basically all YC&AC, but carving out decent chances proved beyond us. Yao, who was on bullish form here, turned away visibly frustrated more than once as he fought to find a way past an impressive CX centreback pairing. Simon got forward with style from his “safe” place at left back, swinging over a couple of great crosses… We looked dangerous at corners… But it wasn’t to be.

All in all this was a big, big effort from a small squad of Over 35s against a much younger and unusually feisty opposition. Thanks it should be said are very much owed to those players from the Seconds who in the last quarter generously gave us a dose of their energy before the TML match that followed—Kudos to Big Rob, Big Nigel, Big Steve and Stamina Man Martin…

1-4 looks on paper like a bad defeat, but we come out of that match stronger—morally, physically and as a team. Surely, it will be a very good Over 35s side that turns us over this season. As far as this reporter is concerned, we remain unbeaten.

YC&AC: Paul Blamire, Trevor Burton-Towell, Kevin Carden, Simon Carden, Gordon Deas, Alex Hendy, Sada Hosogai (Captain), Ed Nishiie, Marcos Perreira, Alan Plater (Supreme Administrator), Yao

Goals: YC&AC: Marcos Perreira

Man of the match: Sadao Hosogai: Led by example. Didn’t want to lose this one and it showed.

Referee: Shocking

Card count: YC&AC 1 (yellow, Alex Hendy) v Cathay Pacific 1 (yellow, No. 6)

Attendance: Around 20 at its peak

By Alex Hendy